How I Voted Part One

I've never been a fan of the Australian ballot. If you're fixin' to do something as despicable as votin' for that low-life varmint, you ought to just come right out and say so.

Secret ballots are for cowards and wimps. We didn't even have them in the U.S. until 1892. Which come to think of it is just about the time all this cowardly wimpery got started.

So without beatin' around the bush any longer, here's how I voted and why. If you don't like it, get your own ballot. They're free for the asking here in Oregon. Ask twice and they'll give you two.

Measure 39. Yes. Hell, yes. I chipped in a chunk of money to get this thing going because I believe in private property rights. Maybe you don't mind the county taking your house and giving it to Lowe's for a parking lot. I do.

Measure 40. Yes. That Multnomah County clique has dominated the courts long enough. If the courts just decided cases it wouldn't matter. But if they're going to write laws, then we deserve to have proportional representation.

Measure 41. Yes. A tax cut. Who could object to that? People who live off your taxes, that's who. Public servants is what they like to call themselves, but I personally think they're more closely related to ticks and tapeworms.

Measure 42. No. This is a dumb idea but a lot of people will vote for it because they hate insurance companies. And if it passes the insurance companies have only themselves to blame because when you lie down with dogs you get up with ticks and tapeworms.

Measure 43. Yes. I have two daughters. That's all I'm going to say about it.

Measure 44. No. I've written about this already. The State is not your mommy.

Measure 45. Yes, but I wouldn't blame you a bit if you voted No. Anyway, didn't we already vote on this?

Measures 46 and 47. No. I've written about this already. The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution will not be repealed by the voters of Oregon. If you don't like what people are saying, say something different. You have no right to make them shut up.

Measure 48. Yes. Who's better at spending your hard-earned money? You or your indigent Uncle Ted? Did you say Ted? Whoa. Take it easy now. Put the pencil down. Step away from the ballot...

Measure 15-66. No. I've written about this already. I used to love libraries. I've spent a huge chunk of my life in libraries. But there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough.

Measure 15-67. No. The ballot title says "Permanent Tax Rate Limit." Bull. It's a permanent new tax. Don't take the bait.

Measure 15-72. No. I'm voting against the Gold Hill Police Department. More on that in part two.