Happy Flaming Feet

James Lileks:

I thought it was about dancing penguins, but it was actually about overfishing. To hear it recounted (by my wife, who endured the thing) it seems that the penguins were dying, a nice touch for a kid’s film, and the hero followed a fishing boat and ended up in a zoo then told everyone to stop fishing and so everyone stopped fishing and yay the day was saved.

Overfishing? I asked. They stopped overfishing?

No, they stopped fishing.

May I suggest a gastronomical alternative?

Flaming Penguin Kabob

An Armenian specialty traditionally made with lamb or beef, this Antarctic variation will delight even the most discriminating palette.

2 pounds ground or whole penguin
2 sliced onions
2 sliced green or red bell peppers
1 cup olive oil
1 bottle Bud Ice (chilled)
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground garlic
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
2 Bay Leaves
3 sharp skewers

Slice penguin into 1-inch cubes. Mix spices in with olive oil. Marinade cubes in spice mix. Refrigerate overnight, stirring occasionally. Slice onions and bell peppers into wedges. Place vegetables and penguin cubes alternately on skewers. Brush lightly again with marinade. Grill for 10 to 15 minutes until golden brown outside. Turn and baste continually with Bud Ice. Douse lightly with brandy or lighter fluid and light before serving.