'Elf 'n' Safety

Mark Steyn has fun even at funerals.

Ahead of us, the pallbearers emerged from the hearse, very sober and reserved. And at that point they produced a contraption halfway between a supermarket cart and a gurney. "What's that?" asked someone....

"Oh, that's to roll the coffin in on," replied one of the pallbearers.

"Hang on," I said. "You're pallbearers. Aren't you going to carry the coffin?"

"Not allowed, mate. 'Elf 'n' Safety. The path's uneven."...

"Screw this," said my brother-in-law gallantly. "We'll carry it in." He motioned to me and a couple of other male relatives.

"You can't do that," protested the head pallbearer. "You're not licensed pallbearers."

"So what?" I said. "As you've just explained, a licensed pallbearer is explicitly licensed not to bear palls."

Want the punchline? Read it all.